People all the time, express their sympathy when I tell them Mom does not remember me or who I am. I honestly could care less...most days she likes me and I remember who I am and who she was. Today was a hard day. I had recently commented that we did not often have to deal with the aggression that she had in the beginning of our journey. Life seems simple when she is even tempered. Today was NOT that day. She was agitated and pulling stuff off every surface she could reach. When a child is learning to "explore" their environment, it is frustrating but encouraging that they are learning and will stop the destruction soon enough. We don't have that to look forward to. A 6' 75 year old 180# woman is not cute dumping everything off the shelves. But I digress...the hardest part is the topic.
Mom was sitting in her chair and had her baby doll on her lap...trying to pull one arm off. I thought to ask Beth(15) to get her a cup of water. Beth tried our usual bait and switch..."here's a cup of water, can I have the baby?" Mom was not going for it so Beth put the cup in her hand...since she was miffed, she spilled the water on her blanket. Beth got the doll and turned to put it on the bed when Mom flung the big glass of water at her back...ARGH! Carpet wet, bed wet but worst...poor Beth soaked. My dear Mother would have been horrified if she knew what her ALZ personality has done to her darling grandchildren. None of them has escaped her alter-ego. She has slapped, kicked, pushed, cursed, etc. all of us. As a Mother there is not any thing else that makes me so mad and sad. AND as soon as it happens, it is over for her...no memory of what has just happened. I pray that our memories of these times will fade too.
Tomorrow my Mother will be 75 years old. She will not understand but we will buy a nice cake(which she WILL enjoy!). We will sing "Happy Birthday to You" and "Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to You!"(our family birthday song) We will all give her a HUG and tell her we love her. We will celebrate the woman she was before ALZ began taking her away. We will celebrate Memaw Peggy! Happy Birthday Momma! I love you.