For the Love of God

In my earliest memories as a child there is Mom singing about Jesus. I imagine that Mom has always known him, growing up in a family with strong faith. As an only child, Mom was lonely and needed a friend to be with her. She didn't have to go far to find her pretend best friend. His name was...Jesus! She sat a seat for him at the dinner table. They played dolls in the living room. She held the door open for him as they ran out to play. He went with her EVERYWHERE. Her Mother eventually became irritated by his presence at all times but she really couldn't get angry since it was Jesus!

Now He is here with us again...usually in songs. Mom doesn't sing anymore as she has lost her words. Her strong, lovely alto voice bellows out notes with no words. I had told a friend she was humming incessantly for most of the day and often far into the night. When she sat with her one day, she informed me that it was not humming..."you can't hum that loudly!" Her song of choice is "Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus. Oh by faith to trust Him more"...her mind is stuck on that phrase of notes and repeats it over and over, faster and faster, louder and louder.

It begins early in the morning and continues throughout the day and into the night. When she wakes during the night she begins again. There are NO earplugs that block the sound. One day I was telling Maggie about it and she said, "Ms. Jane you need to get some DUCT Tape"...as I had a visual of Mom's mouth taped shut, I giggled and said that wouldn't be very nice . She quickly revealed her idea "You can put one pillow on each side of your head and tape them on" HA!

I've learned to tune the music out much of the time. I can sometimes interrupt it by playing a CD and at least get her to change tunes as the CD plays. It can become nerve wracking to hear the same notes for a large part of the day. But it could be so much worse...she could be tone deaf or I often think what it would be like without Jesus as her main squeeze. She could be serenading us with "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down and pass it around, 99 bottles of beer on the wall!"

Glasses

We recently went for eye appointments to get Mom and Dad new glasses. I urgently made the appointments as I noticed Mom's glasses seemed fragile. I was thinking that while she can still recognize most of the letters of the alphabet and answer questions, we had better get an eye exam. I passed over their health plan Dr. options because I knew our Dr. was patient and gentle...AND a female. Mom seems to be leary of men in some situations. Dr. Vivian was wonderful as I expected and Mom's eyes had not changed. On to get the glasses ordered...by now she was getting tired and wondering why she would need another pair of glasses. While trying on frames, she kept asking why she couldn't just keep her current glasses. They are a part of her wardrobe...she is never without them...some nights, she sleeps with them on. We were successful in getting the new glasses ordered. Last night as I cleaned her glasses, I had the thought that maybe we have purchased Mom's last pair of glasses. It's like when the children were growing up, I'd have the thought "this will be our last Christmas all together"...but now it's on the other end of the spectrum.

I am learning to enjoy the days...whatever they look like. Each night I tuck her in and kiss her forehead...I tell her of the GREAT day we've had and thank her for helping me...(even if we've had a really hard day) I tell her I love her and to dream sweetly...I pray she does!

Bliss-filled day 12/7/10

I should write every day so you could see how unpredictable life can be...AND so I could share with you how blessed I am to be able to care for my Mom and Dad. Today is ONE I will freeze...most days Mom comes in and starts the day with me. I try to be in the kitchen or out with the dogs before 7...she comes out of the apartment looking for me. We feed 4 dogs and 10 cats, then start breakfast for the two-leggers(people). We have a great time working together in the kitchen...I love the company and she loves feeling useful. She can do so much with calm, gentle instructions. Praise God, I've had enough children to have a load of patience. She stayed and helped me sort through some books today before they left to do laundry at the local laundry mat. Dad enjoys the outing and they meet new people each week to visit and encourage. I call it their "Dirty Laundry Ministry"

When they returned home, it was lunch time...hoping to avoid a replay of yesterday, I encouraged Daddy to get lunch quickly and get into bed for a rest. He succeeded on both accounts and they slept for 2.5 hours. I am still trying to isolate things that could help Mom and think one could be her need for more rest. When they got up, we were down at the arena practicing the horses for Friday night's parade so they came down to watch the girls ride. She sat in the big van with me and Brett sat with Dad and visited...so good for Daddy to have Brett and vice versa. I am ever so thankful for a husband who is kind and supportive. He loves Mom and Dad like they were his own parents...and they love him dearly.

Soon it was time for dinner and Mom helped me finish it and put in the first pan of pumpkin spice cookies. We enjoyed dinner together and a visit before my family headed off to watch the Volleyball championships. Daddy headed to the apartment and she stayed to help clean the kitchen. She was so precious as she left..."Thank you for letting me help. You are such an amazing woman...so talented!" I told her I learned how to be a strong woman from her! She smiled and said, "I don't know about that"...but I do! God bless you today...be FULLY His for whatever He calls you to.

Christmas pictures and more 12/6/10

These past two weeks Mom has been walking more and more. We have a plan that works most days...we try to take turns and just walk along to be sure she is safe. She has a predictable route...not the safest...and not negotiable for her. One day we took off and I was not dressed completely...she caught me in the middle of exercising so off I headed with my arms crossed across the front. Thinking I could get her mercy and she would go back home with me, I mentioned the missing apparel and my desire to go home and "get dressed"...that day it was NO problem for her as she had packed her rolling suitcase and offered to "loan" me the missing item. I had a HUGE chuckle wondering which of my neighbors' yards I could duck into to change. Instead I refused and off we went...there I was on Main Street in Santa Fe...arms crossed, walking on. Besides being embarrassed, I realized I was frustrated as I like to swing my arms when I walk.

By the time we got back home(1 hour later) I was in a bad mood because she had taken off to cross the highway when it was not safe...as I grabbed her arm, she got very angry...I fussed at her as we walked on. Some days, she lets me walk along and I can talk and show her things...other days I am invading on her escape and she is MAD...those days are hard even though I know it is the illness not Mom. Yesterday was another hard walk...I currently hold the LONG distance award for walking with her and she keeps expanding it...I call it MY Alzheimer's Diet plan!!! It was a COLD day...I hoped that might make it a shorter walk but no she was upset and off we went. After 45 minutes, I called one of the sons to come and pick us up but when she saw who was in the car, she took off. I decided to just keep walking...finally she sat down in front of a friend's closed business...then she was frustrated that no one had come to get us!!! I quickly called Daddy to come. When we arrived back home, she would not leave the car and as soon as we did, she got out and headed off again. Fortunately Daddy talked to her sternly and she came back to their apartment.

It was a hard day as I had planned to take Christmas pictures and have her birthday dinner that night. I began to wonder if any of that would be possible?!? As it turned out, I had her come in and we played BEAUTY SHOP...I fixed her hair and the gals did her make-up...she loved the attention and couldn't believe who she saw in the mirror. We all got ready and were only 10 minutes late to meet all the others at the photo studio. Had a great time doing the pictures...amazing they can fit ALL 11 of us in one picture! Then off to dinner and Christmas Light gazing. She really does not like the dark so she was more than ready to be home. Off to bed and sweet dreams!

Life at Sonshine Acres

We've begun to find our schedule for this time of life. Our best day begins with Mom coming in early(6:30 or 7)to cook with me. We've had more yummy BIG breakfasts in the past two weeks than in years. I love the smells in the house when it gets cooking and really can't understand how the young people can sleep with their noses being assaulted with delicious smells.

Then if we can keep busy with school and housework, it seems to help Mom stay centered. She loves being busy and having something to do. Don't we all long to be useful in some way?

Today she ran errands with me...tire shop and store. Then we all had lunch out together. When we got home, we fixed hot tea and rocked in the swing with the breeze blowing. We visited about Oklahoma and our favorite memories of Fall time there. I'm always thankful for the Tallow Trees here...otherwise we'd have no chance to see leaves change colors! It was a precious time for us to share.

Daddy home

We've had one week with Daddy gone to NC for his family reunion. It's been a precious time for Mom and me. Most of the time, she thought I was a dear friend who had come to take care of her. Some times she was completely normal and we could visit about some very abstract things together. She told me how her family decided to take care of each other and how they knew when it was time to let some place else do the 24/7 care and just visit as much as possible.

One day she asked me how to decide which man to keep...she described two different men who she was entertaining...one younger man who loved her dearly and would do anything to take care of her, soft spoken and gentle...the other man was older and she'd known him awhile...he too was good to take care of her but also a bit bossy...although she knew she could always trust him to be a "straight shooter"...I asked for names but she couldn't tell me...the more she described them, the more it seemed she'd divided Daddy into his "nice" guy self and his "caretaker" bossy self. It made me wonder who she would think had arrived at the airport...I prayed myself to sleep asking God to help her recognize and accept Daddy today. They were precious when they saw each other at the airport...both got really teary and hugged forever. I was so thankful that she was able to give him a sweet, loving reception.

The hard part is since we are back home, she is very confused and wants me with her. I am missing her as much as she is missing me! We were like two school girl best friends...visiting, laughing, talking in the dark and singing ourselves to sleep...thanking God for such a wonderful memory!

July 3, 2010 Life seems grand

Needing to take time to blog...the better things go, the less I find myself needing to write but I thought an update would be good. We went to see our new Doc again...I'll call him Dr. L. We took Mom in because her blood sugars are inching up a bit now that we are off two meds. Neither of them were for blood sugar but both caused that med to act up. Dr. L was very calm(as usual) and told us what was happening and when we needed to call him. He also offered to make a house call and told us he knew where our address was...is that TOO cool!!!

We had a very successful week. Got both Mom and Dad changed to a new health plan on Tuesday so we can use Dr. L at no cost...yeah! It was touch and go because they were in the "lock-in" period and unless they met certain criteria, we could not change until November. Just all the paper work and calls could wear you out...not to mention the actual care! ha

Today I had some work to do at the church so I convinced Mom to tag along with me. We made two store stops on the way to get supplies. Then on to the church...she helped me assemble 20 copies of the Fruit of the Spirit book for church tomorrow. She enjoyed the "work" and getting to be included. Then on to the health food store for some supplies. The grocery store next door had chicken leg quarters for 19 cents a pound! So we had to go there and shop too...she had fun picking out corn on the cob and watermelons. We had loads of time for visiting and singing. We bought some new children's worship music and had to listen to four CD's. Had a great time singing along with her sweet voice.

I've just read a book that should be on everyone's MUST READ LIST...Measure of the Heart by Mary Ellen Geist. It's a touching, realistic tribute to her father who suffers with Alzheimer's. She had a very successful career in radio broadcasting when she came home to help her mother care for her father. Even if you are not dealing with dementia or ALZ in your life, it's a great read about loving and serving. Let me know if you'd like to borrow my copy...I'd love for it to get good use.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK: Mom called Daddy "Thurman" several times!!! Be blessed...God is GOOD!