Where have I been?

I ordered some new books! I LOVE to read but have not been doing it for a long time. My current read is "Mothering Mother" by Carol O'Dell. If you are in the trenches, caring for an Alzheimer's patient, it is a MUST read. I read to my gals as we travel in the car. I am not driving much anymore as K and C both are. I sneak in reading parts alone when I can. She writes short snippets of life with her Mother. I was charmed by the title...it made me remember how much I LOVED mothering my 7 children. AND it made me think about how I could transfer that to my experience now of caring for Mom as she UN-ages. She is now in the 2-3 year old range.

The book also made me think about how much I used to enjoy writing. I have dreamed of writing a book someday...just never thought I knew something anyone else would want to read about. So now I am back as times allows.

Since my previous post in 2010 several life-changers have occurred. First I was involved in a horse accident that resulted in many broken ribs. Suddenly, I was incapacitated and of no help to anyone for months. We quickly had a five foot high fence built around 1 acre at the back of our home. We hated the idea of being fenced in but Momma was running off up to 5 times a day and I couldn't help at all. Our "LOCK DOWN" unit has been a life and mind saver. Mom can go out her back door and walk around or come into my back door without the possibility of "escaping". We had to get used to locking and unlocking to get to the driveway or into the side and pasture gates but the safety and freedom for Mom has made it more than worth it. We have a lock on the driveway gate with letters set to L-O-R-D for fast entry and exit...the livestock gates are keyed locks.

We have only lost her once since the fence was installed. One day she was outside and I was out front working. I thought I'd not seen her at the gate in a few minutes. I asked everyone if they had seen her and no one had. RED ALERT! We all started looking...the only possible way for her to get out would have been to go through the barn into pasture and climb through livestock fencing. The minutes dragged as we searched everywhere. I grabbed my phone to dial 9-1-1 when one of the gals screamed "Here she is!" She had gotten into one of Jon's parts cars and rolled the window down. Her hands were securely on the wheel at 10 and 2...I feel sure she was driving home to "OKLAHOMA" ;)

The other life-changer was Daddy heading home to Heaven unexpectedly in June 2012. I wrote every night after he died and will cut and paste some of that in another post. We miss him so! I immediately moved into the apartment with Momma. It was a crazy time of trying to grieve as I learned all I needed to know about Mom's care and still be a wife and Mom somehow. GOD IS FAITHFUL! I tell people all the time that God has been faithful to provide ideas and encouragement each time we need it. We are on a hard part of our journey.

Now you can understand why I've been missing in action. I didn't want you to think it was the "soap operas and bon-bons" thing!!!

Christmas pictures and more 12/6/10

These past two weeks Mom has been walking more and more. We have a plan that works most days...we try to take turns and just walk along to be sure she is safe. She has a predictable route...not the safest...and not negotiable for her. One day we took off and I was not dressed completely...she caught me in the middle of exercising so off I headed with my arms crossed across the front. Thinking I could get her mercy and she would go back home with me, I mentioned the missing apparel and my desire to go home and "get dressed"...that day it was NO problem for her as she had packed her rolling suitcase and offered to "loan" me the missing item. I had a HUGE chuckle wondering which of my neighbors' yards I could duck into to change. Instead I refused and off we went...there I was on Main Street in Santa Fe...arms crossed, walking on. Besides being embarrassed, I realized I was frustrated as I like to swing my arms when I walk.

By the time we got back home(1 hour later) I was in a bad mood because she had taken off to cross the highway when it was not safe...as I grabbed her arm, she got very angry...I fussed at her as we walked on. Some days, she lets me walk along and I can talk and show her things...other days I am invading on her escape and she is MAD...those days are hard even though I know it is the illness not Mom. Yesterday was another hard walk...I currently hold the LONG distance award for walking with her and she keeps expanding it...I call it MY Alzheimer's Diet plan!!! It was a COLD day...I hoped that might make it a shorter walk but no she was upset and off we went. After 45 minutes, I called one of the sons to come and pick us up but when she saw who was in the car, she took off. I decided to just keep walking...finally she sat down in front of a friend's closed business...then she was frustrated that no one had come to get us!!! I quickly called Daddy to come. When we arrived back home, she would not leave the car and as soon as we did, she got out and headed off again. Fortunately Daddy talked to her sternly and she came back to their apartment.

It was a hard day as I had planned to take Christmas pictures and have her birthday dinner that night. I began to wonder if any of that would be possible?!? As it turned out, I had her come in and we played BEAUTY SHOP...I fixed her hair and the gals did her make-up...she loved the attention and couldn't believe who she saw in the mirror. We all got ready and were only 10 minutes late to meet all the others at the photo studio. Had a great time doing the pictures...amazing they can fit ALL 11 of us in one picture! Then off to dinner and Christmas Light gazing. She really does not like the dark so she was more than ready to be home. Off to bed and sweet dreams!

Losing My Mind...the book

Finishing some reading...today brought "Losing My Mind" by Thomas deBaggio. He was a writer then owned a plant nursery when it was discovered that he had Alz. He decided to write a book as he went further into the illness. His observations are enlightening and raw...painfully so...reading it makes me hope we are not headed there. I used to always want to know what I was facing..."if I know, I can deal with anything". This new journey makes me want to "hide my head in the sand" sometimes. I've always prided myself in dealing with reality and NOT being in denial...guess it's time to lose more of my pride demon.

We did get appointments with the new Dr. but she can't see Mom until the middle of July. That will be right before Dad leaves for the family reunion. Pray with me that he will feel good about going and letting me care for her. He so enjoys seeing his family and catching up. It would give him time to relax and really rest...they spoil him while he's there! He's still undecided about leaving and we don't talk about it much as it makes Mom anxious. She really depends on him.

Last night I made a chart of the many different psychological problems that can be caused by Mom's different meds...it made me mad that she has been put on so many different things that have awful side effects and in the 18 or so months, the Physician's assistant has not noticed the change. Prayerful that the new Dr. will be able to make adjustments for her benefit.