People all the time, express their sympathy when I tell them Mom does not remember me or who I am. I honestly could care less...most days she likes me and I remember who I am and who she was. Today was a hard day. I had recently commented that we did not often have to deal with the aggression that she had in the beginning of our journey. Life seems simple when she is even tempered. Today was NOT that day. She was agitated and pulling stuff off every surface she could reach. When a child is learning to "explore" their environment, it is frustrating but encouraging that they are learning and will stop the destruction soon enough. We don't have that to look forward to. A 6' 75 year old 180# woman is not cute dumping everything off the shelves. But I digress...the hardest part is the topic.
Mom was sitting in her chair and had her baby doll on her lap...trying to pull one arm off. I thought to ask Beth(15) to get her a cup of water. Beth tried our usual bait and switch..."here's a cup of water, can I have the baby?" Mom was not going for it so Beth put the cup in her hand...since she was miffed, she spilled the water on her blanket. Beth got the doll and turned to put it on the bed when Mom flung the big glass of water at her back...ARGH! Carpet wet, bed wet but worst...poor Beth soaked. My dear Mother would have been horrified if she knew what her ALZ personality has done to her darling grandchildren. None of them has escaped her alter-ego. She has slapped, kicked, pushed, cursed, etc. all of us. As a Mother there is not any thing else that makes me so mad and sad. AND as soon as it happens, it is over for her...no memory of what has just happened. I pray that our memories of these times will fade too.
Tomorrow my Mother will be 75 years old. She will not understand but we will buy a nice cake(which she WILL enjoy!). We will sing "Happy Birthday to You" and "Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to You!"(our family birthday song) We will all give her a HUG and tell her we love her. We will celebrate the woman she was before ALZ began taking her away. We will celebrate Memaw Peggy! Happy Birthday Momma! I love you.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
June 28th, 2012 Ten Day Anniversary of Daddy's Death...another flash back post
This post was from June 28, 2012…Ten days after Daddy’s death:
Tonight Mom stayed in the house with Jon, Ben, Brett, Christine and Elizabeth while Katy and I ran some LATE errands. We did not return until 10:30 pm and she had done fine and seemed to enjoy the visiting. Jon ran the vacuum which would usually really bother her but it did not faze her. She did not want to go back to the apartment with me…Jon had to come in for a bit and then escape out. She was frustrated and tried to get a “spin” going but I stayed calm and asked her how I could help. I sang all of our Jesus songs to her several times and got in bed. She sat on the end of her bed in the dark rocking back and forth.
When I asked again if she was ready for bed, she said “let me get my Daddy”…she went and turned the light on in the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet and began to talk to Daddy…”are you finished with your work…can you come here with us…just for a bit so we can tell each other that we love each other…you can use these things (pointing to his deodorant and colognes) come on.” She asked me if it was OK for him to come and stay. I told her of course I would love for him to come and stay. (while I am typing, she has come and made me come into the bathroom with her to talk to him) She seems to think I can make him come. We talked in the mirror to him. She showed me to him and told him to hurry and come so we could get finished…? I asked her if he liked me and she said “I don’t know.” I told her to tell him I loved him. “Tell him Jane loves him” so she mouthed JANE LOVES YOU into the mirror. I asked her if he talked to her and she said “Yes we have talks and talks.” I told her I knew what he would say to her…”I love you!”
I asked if she thought he wanted us to go to bed and he’d come then? (guess my mind is on sleep 1 am now) She told me no.
She’s in bathroom talking to the mirror while I type. It is very interesting. Wish I had a video camera to get this recorded. She’s talking so quietly that I can’t tell what she’s saying now. She just shut the door…”excuse me friends, I’m needing this” door shut and she’s talking to him still? I snuck over there to see what was up. She went pee all the time talking to him. And then opened the door, came out and is now back talking to him. She will not drink her sleepy tea…”I don’t need that!” I don’t tell her it is sleepy tea…just that we need to have a drink…no way. Just asked her if there was anything I could help her with and she said in a curt voice that I’ve heard many times “we’re fine…THANK YOU! “ This is the voice she would use when she decided I was the “other woman”…now we’ve been talking to him for over 30 minutes. Wondering if I can lay in bed and rest or if I should sit up?!? I may need the power to go out to get it dark.
My guess is that even though she can’t verbalize the longing for him, her spirit knows he is gone and their spirits are visiting. I’ve never been this close to death and the spirit world…makes me think all kinds of new thoughts.
She continued to talk to him. I finally got up and turned off the light by the chairs and got in bed. I would ask her if it was time for bed. “I’m so tired…need to sleep and we will go in the morning.” She stayed in bathroom until I got in bed. Then she turned off the light and closed the door. Then she opened it and talked to him back and forth 6 times. I thought to get in her bed and ask her to come to me. She did come and get in bed. Really fussing and checking the covers…being sure I was covered. I held her hand near me and she stroked my hair and face over and over. After about 5 minutes she said “come here dear” and put her arm out for me to lay my head on. I did and she patted my back with her other arm and said “It will be OK.”
Funny…that is how I held my kids when we snuggled together. I drifted off to sleep and so did she. Each time I woke up, she was quiet and still so I stayed with her on her bed. (I do not usually sleep with her as she typically touches me and talks all night when I stay that close)
*Side note: The first time Mom kept Beth here overnight when Brett and I went for our anniversary…Beth was still addicted to “the arm.” She would not nap nor sleep at bedtime without my arm under her head and wrapped around her back…comes from me ALWAYS holding her that way. She was the ONLY one of the children who I did that with…no one else was attached to anything but nursing. Anyway the next day when I got home she acted like I had greatly offended her by taking “the arm” away from her for the night. When I asked her if she had slept on Me Maw’s arm she said “Yes but it was TOO fluffy!” HA! I think Beth was almost 3 when this happened. (Aug. 5, 2001)
Tonight Mom stayed in the house with Jon, Ben, Brett, Christine and Elizabeth while Katy and I ran some LATE errands. We did not return until 10:30 pm and she had done fine and seemed to enjoy the visiting. Jon ran the vacuum which would usually really bother her but it did not faze her. She did not want to go back to the apartment with me…Jon had to come in for a bit and then escape out. She was frustrated and tried to get a “spin” going but I stayed calm and asked her how I could help. I sang all of our Jesus songs to her several times and got in bed. She sat on the end of her bed in the dark rocking back and forth.
When I asked again if she was ready for bed, she said “let me get my Daddy”…she went and turned the light on in the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet and began to talk to Daddy…”are you finished with your work…can you come here with us…just for a bit so we can tell each other that we love each other…you can use these things (pointing to his deodorant and colognes) come on.” She asked me if it was OK for him to come and stay. I told her of course I would love for him to come and stay. (while I am typing, she has come and made me come into the bathroom with her to talk to him) She seems to think I can make him come. We talked in the mirror to him. She showed me to him and told him to hurry and come so we could get finished…? I asked her if he liked me and she said “I don’t know.” I told her to tell him I loved him. “Tell him Jane loves him” so she mouthed JANE LOVES YOU into the mirror. I asked her if he talked to her and she said “Yes we have talks and talks.” I told her I knew what he would say to her…”I love you!”
I asked if she thought he wanted us to go to bed and he’d come then? (guess my mind is on sleep 1 am now) She told me no.
She’s in bathroom talking to the mirror while I type. It is very interesting. Wish I had a video camera to get this recorded. She’s talking so quietly that I can’t tell what she’s saying now. She just shut the door…”excuse me friends, I’m needing this” door shut and she’s talking to him still? I snuck over there to see what was up. She went pee all the time talking to him. And then opened the door, came out and is now back talking to him. She will not drink her sleepy tea…”I don’t need that!” I don’t tell her it is sleepy tea…just that we need to have a drink…no way. Just asked her if there was anything I could help her with and she said in a curt voice that I’ve heard many times “we’re fine…THANK YOU! “ This is the voice she would use when she decided I was the “other woman”…now we’ve been talking to him for over 30 minutes. Wondering if I can lay in bed and rest or if I should sit up?!? I may need the power to go out to get it dark.
My guess is that even though she can’t verbalize the longing for him, her spirit knows he is gone and their spirits are visiting. I’ve never been this close to death and the spirit world…makes me think all kinds of new thoughts.
She continued to talk to him. I finally got up and turned off the light by the chairs and got in bed. I would ask her if it was time for bed. “I’m so tired…need to sleep and we will go in the morning.” She stayed in bathroom until I got in bed. Then she turned off the light and closed the door. Then she opened it and talked to him back and forth 6 times. I thought to get in her bed and ask her to come to me. She did come and get in bed. Really fussing and checking the covers…being sure I was covered. I held her hand near me and she stroked my hair and face over and over. After about 5 minutes she said “come here dear” and put her arm out for me to lay my head on. I did and she patted my back with her other arm and said “It will be OK.”
Funny…that is how I held my kids when we snuggled together. I drifted off to sleep and so did she. Each time I woke up, she was quiet and still so I stayed with her on her bed. (I do not usually sleep with her as she typically touches me and talks all night when I stay that close)
*Side note: The first time Mom kept Beth here overnight when Brett and I went for our anniversary…Beth was still addicted to “the arm.” She would not nap nor sleep at bedtime without my arm under her head and wrapped around her back…comes from me ALWAYS holding her that way. She was the ONLY one of the children who I did that with…no one else was attached to anything but nursing. Anyway the next day when I got home she acted like I had greatly offended her by taking “the arm” away from her for the night. When I asked her if she had slept on Me Maw’s arm she said “Yes but it was TOO fluffy!” HA! I think Beth was almost 3 when this happened. (Aug. 5, 2001)
Thursday, August 1, 2013
A day in my life!
Hubby, me and Gals 3 are headed off for a few days for a break and to celebrate our 34th anniversary...so our young men and the sitter and a sweet friend will be caring for Mom. I needed to itemize the schedule for the caregivers and decided to share it here. The day begins when Mom wakes up so there are NO set times only the activities that must occur.
Mom wakes up***RED ALERT***the day has begun. She will be soaked so remove her gown and pull-up pants(just tear along the sides and toss it on bed pad on bed). Open vanity mirror so she will not see the "stranger" in the bathroom. You will have to do this each time you want her to go in bathroom...otherwise she thinks someone is already in there. Encourage her to go into bathroom and step up into shower(turn nozzle to wall and turn on to a little right of center). Get her bath sponge and put on shower gel. Wash her gently top to bottom, front and back...be sure to get under her belly. Wash hair with tear-free baby shampoo as she does not remember to close her eyes anymore. Rinse well...be sure to get under her arms and belly. Her towel hangs to the right of the mirror. Be sure to dry under her tummy.
Pull-ups are in the cabinet to the left of the potty...bottom drawer. Put a pad into the pull-up and ask her to lift her feet to step into it. IF she won't do this, you will need to get her to sit down on side of bed and put it on her. All of this time, I keep her blocked from leaving that area. Put her house dress over her head and she's dressed! She usually goes barefoot in the house. Her glasses will be on the window ledge to the right of her bed.
Breakfast can be large bowl of cereal with liquid yogurt, 2 packages of oatmeal or waffles...you can add bacon to any meal. O.J. or prune juice for drink. She often eats with her hands but can sometimes still use a spoon. After breakfast she enjoys having the music on and sitting in her chair or walking back and forth. Open curtains and blinds.
Pick up wet bed pad and pull-up and put in closed trashcan in bathroom. Take sheets off of bed and put outside in the pink hamper. Spray plastic bed sheet with OdoBan and wipe with Clorox wipes. Let air dry. Do not make the bed until the afternoon. Sets of sheets are in left door of wardrobe.
Usually our morning is spent with gals coming out to do school. While we do laundry and get meals going in the big house. Of course Christine runs out to do all the outside animals(4 horses and 14 chickens) and Beth does the dogs(4) and cats. You can try a restroom break but she doesn't remember how or why to sit on the potty now. I usually change her pants one time during the day if needed and before bedtime.
Lunch time Mom can have PB and J(she LOVES) or leftovers from yesterday's dinner or Taco Bell(beefy bean burrito)or ??? She is not picky but without her teeth, you may need to cut it up.
During afternoon, laundry folding, dinner prep, make her bed...put bed pad on and tuck in foot of sheet, listen to music(her favs are Lift Him Up-Ron Kenoly, The Mamas and the Papas, Carmen). My time for paying bills, making calls, cleaning apartment or big house.
Dinner is whatever we eat cut up or if we are gone she can have a TV dinner with fruit from the pantry. I usually leave something out for her to snack on. She cannot tell you when she is hungry but if not carefully watched, she will put odd things in her mouth. When the sun is going down and it is cooler, she can get on shoes and go outside to walk. The gates must remain locked at all times. She will typically walk to the pasture gate first. She does not remember where to come back so I call her name over and over to help her get back to the house.
After dinner as the sun is going down, all the animals have to be fed AGAIN. The chickens must be put up in their enclosed building or the raccoon will eat one for her dinner!
During the evening she will get agitated and walk more around the house. She often moves things, folds stuff and fidgets. I keep the lights on brightly until I am ready for her to go to bed. Sometimes she will hold her baby doll and rock in chair. Go around the house and close the mini-blinds and curtains. At 8 pm, pour a bottle of NeuroSleep in a glass and add 5 drops of Deep Sleep. Tell her "Here is your juice!" Be sure she drinks it all up. Sometime between 9 and 10 you can try to get her to go to bathroom and change her pants. She wears her house dress to bed. I put small blanket on the bed on her feet. I kiss her on the forehead and tell her "I LOVE YOU!"..."have sweet dreams" and quickly take her glasses off. Put them in the window sill on top of the curtain. Unplug coffee water pot, toaster oven and microwave. All lights off or she will not go to sleep or stay in bed. Wedge the wooden rocker between bed and china hutch so if she gets up during the night, you will hear her.
Fall exhausted into bed and PRAY she sleeps...insert ear plugs. IF she is "singing" and will not stop, put the QUIETUDE CD in the player on low volume. PUSH the Mode button twice and it will play repeatedly. IF she wakes you in the middle of the night, put on that CD and let it run. She sometimes starts singing 2am-4am...if music is playing, she will usually stay in bed. If she talks out at night, do not talk to her. She will resettle but if you talk to her, she will get up to locate your voice. Wake up times vary greatly.
WELL THERE IT IS! An at-home day with Mom. I've not included taking care of my family or any outings...makes me too tired to think of all that...ha!
Mom wakes up***RED ALERT***the day has begun. She will be soaked so remove her gown and pull-up pants(just tear along the sides and toss it on bed pad on bed). Open vanity mirror so she will not see the "stranger" in the bathroom. You will have to do this each time you want her to go in bathroom...otherwise she thinks someone is already in there. Encourage her to go into bathroom and step up into shower(turn nozzle to wall and turn on to a little right of center). Get her bath sponge and put on shower gel. Wash her gently top to bottom, front and back...be sure to get under her belly. Wash hair with tear-free baby shampoo as she does not remember to close her eyes anymore. Rinse well...be sure to get under her arms and belly. Her towel hangs to the right of the mirror. Be sure to dry under her tummy.
Pull-ups are in the cabinet to the left of the potty...bottom drawer. Put a pad into the pull-up and ask her to lift her feet to step into it. IF she won't do this, you will need to get her to sit down on side of bed and put it on her. All of this time, I keep her blocked from leaving that area. Put her house dress over her head and she's dressed! She usually goes barefoot in the house. Her glasses will be on the window ledge to the right of her bed.
Breakfast can be large bowl of cereal with liquid yogurt, 2 packages of oatmeal or waffles...you can add bacon to any meal. O.J. or prune juice for drink. She often eats with her hands but can sometimes still use a spoon. After breakfast she enjoys having the music on and sitting in her chair or walking back and forth. Open curtains and blinds.
Pick up wet bed pad and pull-up and put in closed trashcan in bathroom. Take sheets off of bed and put outside in the pink hamper. Spray plastic bed sheet with OdoBan and wipe with Clorox wipes. Let air dry. Do not make the bed until the afternoon. Sets of sheets are in left door of wardrobe.
Usually our morning is spent with gals coming out to do school. While we do laundry and get meals going in the big house. Of course Christine runs out to do all the outside animals(4 horses and 14 chickens) and Beth does the dogs(4) and cats. You can try a restroom break but she doesn't remember how or why to sit on the potty now. I usually change her pants one time during the day if needed and before bedtime.
Lunch time Mom can have PB and J(she LOVES) or leftovers from yesterday's dinner or Taco Bell(beefy bean burrito)or ??? She is not picky but without her teeth, you may need to cut it up.
During afternoon, laundry folding, dinner prep, make her bed...put bed pad on and tuck in foot of sheet, listen to music(her favs are Lift Him Up-Ron Kenoly, The Mamas and the Papas, Carmen). My time for paying bills, making calls, cleaning apartment or big house.
Dinner is whatever we eat cut up or if we are gone she can have a TV dinner with fruit from the pantry. I usually leave something out for her to snack on. She cannot tell you when she is hungry but if not carefully watched, she will put odd things in her mouth. When the sun is going down and it is cooler, she can get on shoes and go outside to walk. The gates must remain locked at all times. She will typically walk to the pasture gate first. She does not remember where to come back so I call her name over and over to help her get back to the house.
After dinner as the sun is going down, all the animals have to be fed AGAIN. The chickens must be put up in their enclosed building or the raccoon will eat one for her dinner!
During the evening she will get agitated and walk more around the house. She often moves things, folds stuff and fidgets. I keep the lights on brightly until I am ready for her to go to bed. Sometimes she will hold her baby doll and rock in chair. Go around the house and close the mini-blinds and curtains. At 8 pm, pour a bottle of NeuroSleep in a glass and add 5 drops of Deep Sleep. Tell her "Here is your juice!" Be sure she drinks it all up. Sometime between 9 and 10 you can try to get her to go to bathroom and change her pants. She wears her house dress to bed. I put small blanket on the bed on her feet. I kiss her on the forehead and tell her "I LOVE YOU!"..."have sweet dreams" and quickly take her glasses off. Put them in the window sill on top of the curtain. Unplug coffee water pot, toaster oven and microwave. All lights off or she will not go to sleep or stay in bed. Wedge the wooden rocker between bed and china hutch so if she gets up during the night, you will hear her.
Fall exhausted into bed and PRAY she sleeps...insert ear plugs. IF she is "singing" and will not stop, put the QUIETUDE CD in the player on low volume. PUSH the Mode button twice and it will play repeatedly. IF she wakes you in the middle of the night, put on that CD and let it run. She sometimes starts singing 2am-4am...if music is playing, she will usually stay in bed. If she talks out at night, do not talk to her. She will resettle but if you talk to her, she will get up to locate your voice. Wake up times vary greatly.
WELL THERE IT IS! An at-home day with Mom. I've not included taking care of my family or any outings...makes me too tired to think of all that...ha!
Friday, July 26, 2013
Looking back to June 18, 2012...Saddest Day
This is a letter I sent to family and friends after Daddy died:
Yesterday was a very sad day for all of us here...Daddy went to run errands in the afternoon and came home not feeling well.(very odd because he has always been the picture of health) Thankfully Brett was already home from work and he came out into the apartment with me to see what was up....Dad's blood sugar was very high, he was sweating and having trouble breathing...we asked if he wanted to go to the hospital and he said no he needed to restroom. Brett helped him and he vomited what he had eaten and then said he felt better. (We thought maybe he had food poisoning) He wanted to lie down but each time he reclined, he could not get enough oxygen. I asked again if I should call the ambulance and he said "yes we better check this out." I quickly called...while awaiting he was sitting on the bedside...Brett in front and me to the left side. A policeman arrived and said the ambulance had to drive from a neighboring town (10 miles) but would be here quickly. As we waited, we told Daddy how much we loved him...what an awesome man he was...I sang "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…there’s just something about that name" to him...and I told him in my head that if he could see the light, to run to it. And he did...we were holding him up as he quietly and quickly ran home to Jesus.
We have SO much to be thankful for...
He lived his life with honor and integrity...loving every person he met. He has the BEST smile of any I've ever seen!
He loved Mom with every inch of his being...devoted and faithful for 55 years.
His PhD is in family and home...he was not distracted by sports or hobbies. He worked hard to provide for us and was home loving us when not working.
Thankful for every day he shared with us here at Sonshine Acres!
SO thankful that he did not go HOME last week when we were gone on vacation.
Praising God that He allowed Brett and me to walk with him to the gates of heaven.
Thankful that he did death like he lived life...gracefully! If you know my Daddy, you know there was not one bit of drama in him. True and steady!
PS---The lead EMS man thought it was a massive heart attack from what little he saw. Mom does not understand much at this point of her Alz. We took her into the apartment after he was gone and she didn't seem to recognize him. We will be staying with her in the apartment for the near future and seeing what our new life looks like. God knows right where we are and He knows what we need...GOD IS FAITHFUL!!
Additional notes 6/23/12: After more research and talking to Dad’s Dr. we know his symptoms and the suddenness pointed more to a pulmonary embolism. He came in from running errands and was gone in less than 30 minutes.
Yesterday was a very sad day for all of us here...Daddy went to run errands in the afternoon and came home not feeling well.(very odd because he has always been the picture of health) Thankfully Brett was already home from work and he came out into the apartment with me to see what was up....Dad's blood sugar was very high, he was sweating and having trouble breathing...we asked if he wanted to go to the hospital and he said no he needed to restroom. Brett helped him and he vomited what he had eaten and then said he felt better. (We thought maybe he had food poisoning) He wanted to lie down but each time he reclined, he could not get enough oxygen. I asked again if I should call the ambulance and he said "yes we better check this out." I quickly called...while awaiting he was sitting on the bedside...Brett in front and me to the left side. A policeman arrived and said the ambulance had to drive from a neighboring town (10 miles) but would be here quickly. As we waited, we told Daddy how much we loved him...what an awesome man he was...I sang "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…there’s just something about that name" to him...and I told him in my head that if he could see the light, to run to it. And he did...we were holding him up as he quietly and quickly ran home to Jesus.
We have SO much to be thankful for...
He lived his life with honor and integrity...loving every person he met. He has the BEST smile of any I've ever seen!
He loved Mom with every inch of his being...devoted and faithful for 55 years.
His PhD is in family and home...he was not distracted by sports or hobbies. He worked hard to provide for us and was home loving us when not working.
Thankful for every day he shared with us here at Sonshine Acres!
SO thankful that he did not go HOME last week when we were gone on vacation.
Praising God that He allowed Brett and me to walk with him to the gates of heaven.
Thankful that he did death like he lived life...gracefully! If you know my Daddy, you know there was not one bit of drama in him. True and steady!
PS---The lead EMS man thought it was a massive heart attack from what little he saw. Mom does not understand much at this point of her Alz. We took her into the apartment after he was gone and she didn't seem to recognize him. We will be staying with her in the apartment for the near future and seeing what our new life looks like. God knows right where we are and He knows what we need...GOD IS FAITHFUL!!
Additional notes 6/23/12: After more research and talking to Dad’s Dr. we know his symptoms and the suddenness pointed more to a pulmonary embolism. He came in from running errands and was gone in less than 30 minutes.
Where have I been?
I ordered some new books! I LOVE to read but have not been doing it for a long time. My current read is "Mothering Mother" by Carol O'Dell. If you are in the trenches, caring for an Alzheimer's patient, it is a MUST read. I read to my gals as we travel in the car. I am not driving much anymore as K and C both are. I sneak in reading parts alone when I can. She writes short snippets of life with her Mother. I was charmed by the title...it made me remember how much I LOVED mothering my 7 children. AND it made me think about how I could transfer that to my experience now of caring for Mom as she UN-ages. She is now in the 2-3 year old range.
The book also made me think about how much I used to enjoy writing. I have dreamed of writing a book someday...just never thought I knew something anyone else would want to read about. So now I am back as times allows.
Since my previous post in 2010 several life-changers have occurred. First I was involved in a horse accident that resulted in many broken ribs. Suddenly, I was incapacitated and of no help to anyone for months. We quickly had a five foot high fence built around 1 acre at the back of our home. We hated the idea of being fenced in but Momma was running off up to 5 times a day and I couldn't help at all. Our "LOCK DOWN" unit has been a life and mind saver. Mom can go out her back door and walk around or come into my back door without the possibility of "escaping". We had to get used to locking and unlocking to get to the driveway or into the side and pasture gates but the safety and freedom for Mom has made it more than worth it. We have a lock on the driveway gate with letters set to L-O-R-D for fast entry and exit...the livestock gates are keyed locks.
We have only lost her once since the fence was installed. One day she was outside and I was out front working. I thought I'd not seen her at the gate in a few minutes. I asked everyone if they had seen her and no one had. RED ALERT! We all started looking...the only possible way for her to get out would have been to go through the barn into pasture and climb through livestock fencing. The minutes dragged as we searched everywhere. I grabbed my phone to dial 9-1-1 when one of the gals screamed "Here she is!" She had gotten into one of Jon's parts cars and rolled the window down. Her hands were securely on the wheel at 10 and 2...I feel sure she was driving home to "OKLAHOMA" ;)
The other life-changer was Daddy heading home to Heaven unexpectedly in June 2012. I wrote every night after he died and will cut and paste some of that in another post. We miss him so! I immediately moved into the apartment with Momma. It was a crazy time of trying to grieve as I learned all I needed to know about Mom's care and still be a wife and Mom somehow. GOD IS FAITHFUL! I tell people all the time that God has been faithful to provide ideas and encouragement each time we need it. We are on a hard part of our journey.
Now you can understand why I've been missing in action. I didn't want you to think it was the "soap operas and bon-bons" thing!!!
The book also made me think about how much I used to enjoy writing. I have dreamed of writing a book someday...just never thought I knew something anyone else would want to read about. So now I am back as times allows.
Since my previous post in 2010 several life-changers have occurred. First I was involved in a horse accident that resulted in many broken ribs. Suddenly, I was incapacitated and of no help to anyone for months. We quickly had a five foot high fence built around 1 acre at the back of our home. We hated the idea of being fenced in but Momma was running off up to 5 times a day and I couldn't help at all. Our "LOCK DOWN" unit has been a life and mind saver. Mom can go out her back door and walk around or come into my back door without the possibility of "escaping". We had to get used to locking and unlocking to get to the driveway or into the side and pasture gates but the safety and freedom for Mom has made it more than worth it. We have a lock on the driveway gate with letters set to L-O-R-D for fast entry and exit...the livestock gates are keyed locks.
We have only lost her once since the fence was installed. One day she was outside and I was out front working. I thought I'd not seen her at the gate in a few minutes. I asked everyone if they had seen her and no one had. RED ALERT! We all started looking...the only possible way for her to get out would have been to go through the barn into pasture and climb through livestock fencing. The minutes dragged as we searched everywhere. I grabbed my phone to dial 9-1-1 when one of the gals screamed "Here she is!" She had gotten into one of Jon's parts cars and rolled the window down. Her hands were securely on the wheel at 10 and 2...I feel sure she was driving home to "OKLAHOMA" ;)
The other life-changer was Daddy heading home to Heaven unexpectedly in June 2012. I wrote every night after he died and will cut and paste some of that in another post. We miss him so! I immediately moved into the apartment with Momma. It was a crazy time of trying to grieve as I learned all I needed to know about Mom's care and still be a wife and Mom somehow. GOD IS FAITHFUL! I tell people all the time that God has been faithful to provide ideas and encouragement each time we need it. We are on a hard part of our journey.
Now you can understand why I've been missing in action. I didn't want you to think it was the "soap operas and bon-bons" thing!!!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
For the Love of God
In my earliest memories as a child there is Mom singing about Jesus. I imagine that Mom has always known him, growing up in a family with strong faith. As an only child, Mom was lonely and needed a friend to be with her. She didn't have to go far to find her pretend best friend. His name was...Jesus! She sat a seat for him at the dinner table. They played dolls in the living room. She held the door open for him as they ran out to play. He went with her EVERYWHERE. Her Mother eventually became irritated by his presence at all times but she really couldn't get angry since it was Jesus!
Now He is here with us again...usually in songs. Mom doesn't sing anymore as she has lost her words. Her strong, lovely alto voice bellows out notes with no words. I had told a friend she was humming incessantly for most of the day and often far into the night. When she sat with her one day, she informed me that it was not humming..."you can't hum that loudly!" Her song of choice is "Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus. Oh by faith to trust Him more"...her mind is stuck on that phrase of notes and repeats it over and over, faster and faster, louder and louder.
It begins early in the morning and continues throughout the day and into the night. When she wakes during the night she begins again. There are NO earplugs that block the sound. One day I was telling Maggie about it and she said, "Ms. Jane you need to get some DUCT Tape"...as I had a visual of Mom's mouth taped shut, I giggled and said that wouldn't be very nice . She quickly revealed her idea "You can put one pillow on each side of your head and tape them on" HA!
I've learned to tune the music out much of the time. I can sometimes interrupt it by playing a CD and at least get her to change tunes as the CD plays. It can become nerve wracking to hear the same notes for a large part of the day. But it could be so much worse...she could be tone deaf or I often think what it would be like without Jesus as her main squeeze. She could be serenading us with "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down and pass it around, 99 bottles of beer on the wall!"
Now He is here with us again...usually in songs. Mom doesn't sing anymore as she has lost her words. Her strong, lovely alto voice bellows out notes with no words. I had told a friend she was humming incessantly for most of the day and often far into the night. When she sat with her one day, she informed me that it was not humming..."you can't hum that loudly!" Her song of choice is "Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus. Oh by faith to trust Him more"...her mind is stuck on that phrase of notes and repeats it over and over, faster and faster, louder and louder.
It begins early in the morning and continues throughout the day and into the night. When she wakes during the night she begins again. There are NO earplugs that block the sound. One day I was telling Maggie about it and she said, "Ms. Jane you need to get some DUCT Tape"...as I had a visual of Mom's mouth taped shut, I giggled and said that wouldn't be very nice . She quickly revealed her idea "You can put one pillow on each side of your head and tape them on" HA!
I've learned to tune the music out much of the time. I can sometimes interrupt it by playing a CD and at least get her to change tunes as the CD plays. It can become nerve wracking to hear the same notes for a large part of the day. But it could be so much worse...she could be tone deaf or I often think what it would be like without Jesus as her main squeeze. She could be serenading us with "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down and pass it around, 99 bottles of beer on the wall!"
Monday, May 23, 2011
Glasses
We recently went for eye appointments to get Mom and Dad new glasses. I urgently made the appointments as I noticed Mom's glasses seemed fragile. I was thinking that while she can still recognize most of the letters of the alphabet and answer questions, we had better get an eye exam. I passed over their health plan Dr. options because I knew our Dr. was patient and gentle...AND a female. Mom seems to be leary of men in some situations. Dr. Vivian was wonderful as I expected and Mom's eyes had not changed. On to get the glasses ordered...by now she was getting tired and wondering why she would need another pair of glasses. While trying on frames, she kept asking why she couldn't just keep her current glasses. They are a part of her wardrobe...she is never without them...some nights, she sleeps with them on. We were successful in getting the new glasses ordered. Last night as I cleaned her glasses, I had the thought that maybe we have purchased Mom's last pair of glasses. It's like when the children were growing up, I'd have the thought "this will be our last Christmas all together"...but now it's on the other end of the spectrum.
I am learning to enjoy the days...whatever they look like. Each night I tuck her in and kiss her forehead...I tell her of the GREAT day we've had and thank her for helping me...(even if we've had a really hard day) I tell her I love her and to dream sweetly...I pray she does!
I am learning to enjoy the days...whatever they look like. Each night I tuck her in and kiss her forehead...I tell her of the GREAT day we've had and thank her for helping me...(even if we've had a really hard day) I tell her I love her and to dream sweetly...I pray she does!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Bliss-filled day 12/7/10
I should write every day so you could see how unpredictable life can be...AND so I could share with you how blessed I am to be able to care for my Mom and Dad. Today is ONE I will freeze...most days Mom comes in and starts the day with me. I try to be in the kitchen or out with the dogs before 7...she comes out of the apartment looking for me. We feed 4 dogs and 10 cats, then start breakfast for the two-leggers(people). We have a great time working together in the kitchen...I love the company and she loves feeling useful. She can do so much with calm, gentle instructions. Praise God, I've had enough children to have a load of patience. She stayed and helped me sort through some books today before they left to do laundry at the local laundry mat. Dad enjoys the outing and they meet new people each week to visit and encourage. I call it their "Dirty Laundry Ministry"
When they returned home, it was lunch time...hoping to avoid a replay of yesterday, I encouraged Daddy to get lunch quickly and get into bed for a rest. He succeeded on both accounts and they slept for 2.5 hours. I am still trying to isolate things that could help Mom and think one could be her need for more rest. When they got up, we were down at the arena practicing the horses for Friday night's parade so they came down to watch the girls ride. She sat in the big van with me and Brett sat with Dad and visited...so good for Daddy to have Brett and vice versa. I am ever so thankful for a husband who is kind and supportive. He loves Mom and Dad like they were his own parents...and they love him dearly.
Soon it was time for dinner and Mom helped me finish it and put in the first pan of pumpkin spice cookies. We enjoyed dinner together and a visit before my family headed off to watch the Volleyball championships. Daddy headed to the apartment and she stayed to help clean the kitchen. She was so precious as she left..."Thank you for letting me help. You are such an amazing woman...so talented!" I told her I learned how to be a strong woman from her! She smiled and said, "I don't know about that"...but I do! God bless you today...be FULLY His for whatever He calls you to.
When they returned home, it was lunch time...hoping to avoid a replay of yesterday, I encouraged Daddy to get lunch quickly and get into bed for a rest. He succeeded on both accounts and they slept for 2.5 hours. I am still trying to isolate things that could help Mom and think one could be her need for more rest. When they got up, we were down at the arena practicing the horses for Friday night's parade so they came down to watch the girls ride. She sat in the big van with me and Brett sat with Dad and visited...so good for Daddy to have Brett and vice versa. I am ever so thankful for a husband who is kind and supportive. He loves Mom and Dad like they were his own parents...and they love him dearly.
Soon it was time for dinner and Mom helped me finish it and put in the first pan of pumpkin spice cookies. We enjoyed dinner together and a visit before my family headed off to watch the Volleyball championships. Daddy headed to the apartment and she stayed to help clean the kitchen. She was so precious as she left..."Thank you for letting me help. You are such an amazing woman...so talented!" I told her I learned how to be a strong woman from her! She smiled and said, "I don't know about that"...but I do! God bless you today...be FULLY His for whatever He calls you to.
Christmas pictures and more 12/6/10
These past two weeks Mom has been walking more and more. We have a plan that works most days...we try to take turns and just walk along to be sure she is safe. She has a predictable route...not the safest...and not negotiable for her. One day we took off and I was not dressed completely...she caught me in the middle of exercising so off I headed with my arms crossed across the front. Thinking I could get her mercy and she would go back home with me, I mentioned the missing apparel and my desire to go home and "get dressed"...that day it was NO problem for her as she had packed her rolling suitcase and offered to "loan" me the missing item. I had a HUGE chuckle wondering which of my neighbors' yards I could duck into to change. Instead I refused and off we went...there I was on Main Street in Santa Fe...arms crossed, walking on. Besides being embarrassed, I realized I was frustrated as I like to swing my arms when I walk.
By the time we got back home(1 hour later) I was in a bad mood because she had taken off to cross the highway when it was not safe...as I grabbed her arm, she got very angry...I fussed at her as we walked on. Some days, she lets me walk along and I can talk and show her things...other days I am invading on her escape and she is MAD...those days are hard even though I know it is the illness not Mom. Yesterday was another hard walk...I currently hold the LONG distance award for walking with her and she keeps expanding it...I call it MY Alzheimer's Diet plan!!! It was a COLD day...I hoped that might make it a shorter walk but no she was upset and off we went. After 45 minutes, I called one of the sons to come and pick us up but when she saw who was in the car, she took off. I decided to just keep walking...finally she sat down in front of a friend's closed business...then she was frustrated that no one had come to get us!!! I quickly called Daddy to come. When we arrived back home, she would not leave the car and as soon as we did, she got out and headed off again. Fortunately Daddy talked to her sternly and she came back to their apartment.
It was a hard day as I had planned to take Christmas pictures and have her birthday dinner that night. I began to wonder if any of that would be possible?!? As it turned out, I had her come in and we played BEAUTY SHOP...I fixed her hair and the gals did her make-up...she loved the attention and couldn't believe who she saw in the mirror. We all got ready and were only 10 minutes late to meet all the others at the photo studio. Had a great time doing the pictures...amazing they can fit ALL 11 of us in one picture! Then off to dinner and Christmas Light gazing. She really does not like the dark so she was more than ready to be home. Off to bed and sweet dreams!
By the time we got back home(1 hour later) I was in a bad mood because she had taken off to cross the highway when it was not safe...as I grabbed her arm, she got very angry...I fussed at her as we walked on. Some days, she lets me walk along and I can talk and show her things...other days I am invading on her escape and she is MAD...those days are hard even though I know it is the illness not Mom. Yesterday was another hard walk...I currently hold the LONG distance award for walking with her and she keeps expanding it...I call it MY Alzheimer's Diet plan!!! It was a COLD day...I hoped that might make it a shorter walk but no she was upset and off we went. After 45 minutes, I called one of the sons to come and pick us up but when she saw who was in the car, she took off. I decided to just keep walking...finally she sat down in front of a friend's closed business...then she was frustrated that no one had come to get us!!! I quickly called Daddy to come. When we arrived back home, she would not leave the car and as soon as we did, she got out and headed off again. Fortunately Daddy talked to her sternly and she came back to their apartment.
It was a hard day as I had planned to take Christmas pictures and have her birthday dinner that night. I began to wonder if any of that would be possible?!? As it turned out, I had her come in and we played BEAUTY SHOP...I fixed her hair and the gals did her make-up...she loved the attention and couldn't believe who she saw in the mirror. We all got ready and were only 10 minutes late to meet all the others at the photo studio. Had a great time doing the pictures...amazing they can fit ALL 11 of us in one picture! Then off to dinner and Christmas Light gazing. She really does not like the dark so she was more than ready to be home. Off to bed and sweet dreams!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Life at Sonshine Acres
We've begun to find our schedule for this time of life. Our best day begins with Mom coming in early(6:30 or 7)to cook with me. We've had more yummy BIG breakfasts in the past two weeks than in years. I love the smells in the house when it gets cooking and really can't understand how the young people can sleep with their noses being assaulted with delicious smells.
Then if we can keep busy with school and housework, it seems to help Mom stay centered. She loves being busy and having something to do. Don't we all long to be useful in some way?
Today she ran errands with me...tire shop and store. Then we all had lunch out together. When we got home, we fixed hot tea and rocked in the swing with the breeze blowing. We visited about Oklahoma and our favorite memories of Fall time there. I'm always thankful for the Tallow Trees here...otherwise we'd have no chance to see leaves change colors! It was a precious time for us to share.
Then if we can keep busy with school and housework, it seems to help Mom stay centered. She loves being busy and having something to do. Don't we all long to be useful in some way?
Today she ran errands with me...tire shop and store. Then we all had lunch out together. When we got home, we fixed hot tea and rocked in the swing with the breeze blowing. We visited about Oklahoma and our favorite memories of Fall time there. I'm always thankful for the Tallow Trees here...otherwise we'd have no chance to see leaves change colors! It was a precious time for us to share.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Daddy home
We've had one week with Daddy gone to NC for his family reunion. It's been a precious time for Mom and me. Most of the time, she thought I was a dear friend who had come to take care of her. Some times she was completely normal and we could visit about some very abstract things together. She told me how her family decided to take care of each other and how they knew when it was time to let some place else do the 24/7 care and just visit as much as possible.
One day she asked me how to decide which man to keep...she described two different men who she was entertaining...one younger man who loved her dearly and would do anything to take care of her, soft spoken and gentle...the other man was older and she'd known him awhile...he too was good to take care of her but also a bit bossy...although she knew she could always trust him to be a "straight shooter"...I asked for names but she couldn't tell me...the more she described them, the more it seemed she'd divided Daddy into his "nice" guy self and his "caretaker" bossy self. It made me wonder who she would think had arrived at the airport...I prayed myself to sleep asking God to help her recognize and accept Daddy today. They were precious when they saw each other at the airport...both got really teary and hugged forever. I was so thankful that she was able to give him a sweet, loving reception.
The hard part is since we are back home, she is very confused and wants me with her. I am missing her as much as she is missing me! We were like two school girl best friends...visiting, laughing, talking in the dark and singing ourselves to sleep...thanking God for such a wonderful memory!
One day she asked me how to decide which man to keep...she described two different men who she was entertaining...one younger man who loved her dearly and would do anything to take care of her, soft spoken and gentle...the other man was older and she'd known him awhile...he too was good to take care of her but also a bit bossy...although she knew she could always trust him to be a "straight shooter"...I asked for names but she couldn't tell me...the more she described them, the more it seemed she'd divided Daddy into his "nice" guy self and his "caretaker" bossy self. It made me wonder who she would think had arrived at the airport...I prayed myself to sleep asking God to help her recognize and accept Daddy today. They were precious when they saw each other at the airport...both got really teary and hugged forever. I was so thankful that she was able to give him a sweet, loving reception.
The hard part is since we are back home, she is very confused and wants me with her. I am missing her as much as she is missing me! We were like two school girl best friends...visiting, laughing, talking in the dark and singing ourselves to sleep...thanking God for such a wonderful memory!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
July 3, 2010 Life seems grand
Needing to take time to blog...the better things go, the less I find myself needing to write but I thought an update would be good. We went to see our new Doc again...I'll call him Dr. L. We took Mom in because her blood sugars are inching up a bit now that we are off two meds. Neither of them were for blood sugar but both caused that med to act up. Dr. L was very calm(as usual) and told us what was happening and when we needed to call him. He also offered to make a house call and told us he knew where our address was...is that TOO cool!!!
We had a very successful week. Got both Mom and Dad changed to a new health plan on Tuesday so we can use Dr. L at no cost...yeah! It was touch and go because they were in the "lock-in" period and unless they met certain criteria, we could not change until November. Just all the paper work and calls could wear you out...not to mention the actual care! ha
Today I had some work to do at the church so I convinced Mom to tag along with me. We made two store stops on the way to get supplies. Then on to the church...she helped me assemble 20 copies of the Fruit of the Spirit book for church tomorrow. She enjoyed the "work" and getting to be included. Then on to the health food store for some supplies. The grocery store next door had chicken leg quarters for 19 cents a pound! So we had to go there and shop too...she had fun picking out corn on the cob and watermelons. We had loads of time for visiting and singing. We bought some new children's worship music and had to listen to four CD's. Had a great time singing along with her sweet voice.
I've just read a book that should be on everyone's MUST READ LIST...Measure of the Heart by Mary Ellen Geist. It's a touching, realistic tribute to her father who suffers with Alzheimer's. She had a very successful career in radio broadcasting when she came home to help her mother care for her father. Even if you are not dealing with dementia or ALZ in your life, it's a great read about loving and serving. Let me know if you'd like to borrow my copy...I'd love for it to get good use.
HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK: Mom called Daddy "Thurman" several times!!! Be blessed...God is GOOD!
We had a very successful week. Got both Mom and Dad changed to a new health plan on Tuesday so we can use Dr. L at no cost...yeah! It was touch and go because they were in the "lock-in" period and unless they met certain criteria, we could not change until November. Just all the paper work and calls could wear you out...not to mention the actual care! ha
Today I had some work to do at the church so I convinced Mom to tag along with me. We made two store stops on the way to get supplies. Then on to the church...she helped me assemble 20 copies of the Fruit of the Spirit book for church tomorrow. She enjoyed the "work" and getting to be included. Then on to the health food store for some supplies. The grocery store next door had chicken leg quarters for 19 cents a pound! So we had to go there and shop too...she had fun picking out corn on the cob and watermelons. We had loads of time for visiting and singing. We bought some new children's worship music and had to listen to four CD's. Had a great time singing along with her sweet voice.
I've just read a book that should be on everyone's MUST READ LIST...Measure of the Heart by Mary Ellen Geist. It's a touching, realistic tribute to her father who suffers with Alzheimer's. She had a very successful career in radio broadcasting when she came home to help her mother care for her father. Even if you are not dealing with dementia or ALZ in your life, it's a great read about loving and serving. Let me know if you'd like to borrow my copy...I'd love for it to get good use.
HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK: Mom called Daddy "Thurman" several times!!! Be blessed...God is GOOD!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day 2010
When you know that there are days Mom does not know who Dad is, this card is so precious...
She went to the store with me to get some veggies for grilling. I asked her if she would like to get Daddy a Father's Day card to remind him of what a GREAT dad he was to her children...she said yes but she didn't have any money...I assured her I'd pay and she could repay me later. Needless to say there were not many left so I think it was a "GOD THING" that this one was there for us...we read all of them...some funny, some inappropriate and then this one---
Cover-
What Being Parents Has Taught Us
Cereal for dinner is not the end of the world.
Yes, there was a time when we couldn't wait for them to talk.
When they sleep, you sleep.
The magic of folding teeny-tiny laundry wears off REAL fast.
Some days beds ARE for jumping on.
Inside-
There's no such thing as PERFECT PARENTS,
just perfect partners-
and that's what we are.
Happy Father's Day
Then she wrote-
Love you and wish you the best everyday!
Peg
We had a wonderful day...worship, meal out at Brett's fav place, shopping for all of us Gals(which gave Daddy a break), grilling out, dinner together under the big trees in the back yard, volleyball with the cheering team(Me Maw and Pa), visiting until dusk. Precious memory!
She went to the store with me to get some veggies for grilling. I asked her if she would like to get Daddy a Father's Day card to remind him of what a GREAT dad he was to her children...she said yes but she didn't have any money...I assured her I'd pay and she could repay me later. Needless to say there were not many left so I think it was a "GOD THING" that this one was there for us...we read all of them...some funny, some inappropriate and then this one---
Cover-
What Being Parents Has Taught Us
Cereal for dinner is not the end of the world.
Yes, there was a time when we couldn't wait for them to talk.
When they sleep, you sleep.
The magic of folding teeny-tiny laundry wears off REAL fast.
Some days beds ARE for jumping on.
Inside-
There's no such thing as PERFECT PARENTS,
just perfect partners-
and that's what we are.
Happy Father's Day
Then she wrote-
Love you and wish you the best everyday!
Peg
We had a wonderful day...worship, meal out at Brett's fav place, shopping for all of us Gals(which gave Daddy a break), grilling out, dinner together under the big trees in the back yard, volleyball with the cheering team(Me Maw and Pa), visiting until dusk. Precious memory!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Hallelujah!!! God found us a Doctor
On Tuesday(the 15th) we went to meet a new Dr. for Mom. She and I both took some Rescue Remedy to calm our nerves. She was afraid that we were going to leave her somewhere. We assured her there was NO WAY that could/would happen. I was afraid that I would meet a Dr. like most...boy were we both WRONG!!!
We met a Dr. who EXCEPT for working in an office is like an old-fashioned country Doctor. We took all her paperwork and the research that I've been doing. He looked over Mom's meds and was concerned about the assortment of b/p meds and the combination of so many meds. He advised us to eliminate one immediately and wants to look at more of Mom's blood work levels to see if another one can be eliminated soon. His office is less than 10 minutes from the house. He gave us his personal cell phone number in case we need to ask him anything...how odd is that?!?
He sat and visited with the three of us...no hurry to rush in and out. When Mom got tearful, he told her how fine that was and got up to get her kleenex. He is a Christian who encouraged us to worship, give back and take care of our spiritual lives...do things that make us happy and keep our minds active for our mental lives and offered to help us figure out the physical parts for Mom's best care. What an answer to our prayers! Mom just kept saying "He's a real Doctor. He listened to me and gave suggestions. I really like him." Dad was very impressed also and wants to forget trying another Dr. He feels like this one is a "keeper".
My heart has been so burdened to help them find someone who can give them excellent care...this all came about without my help...we got the referral in a round about way...just like God to take us out of the picture and work a miracle for us! I had to change my blog to a cheerful orange as that is how my heart feels today...God is GOOD! We are blessed! Thanks for your prayers and love!
We met a Dr. who EXCEPT for working in an office is like an old-fashioned country Doctor. We took all her paperwork and the research that I've been doing. He looked over Mom's meds and was concerned about the assortment of b/p meds and the combination of so many meds. He advised us to eliminate one immediately and wants to look at more of Mom's blood work levels to see if another one can be eliminated soon. His office is less than 10 minutes from the house. He gave us his personal cell phone number in case we need to ask him anything...how odd is that?!?
He sat and visited with the three of us...no hurry to rush in and out. When Mom got tearful, he told her how fine that was and got up to get her kleenex. He is a Christian who encouraged us to worship, give back and take care of our spiritual lives...do things that make us happy and keep our minds active for our mental lives and offered to help us figure out the physical parts for Mom's best care. What an answer to our prayers! Mom just kept saying "He's a real Doctor. He listened to me and gave suggestions. I really like him." Dad was very impressed also and wants to forget trying another Dr. He feels like this one is a "keeper".
My heart has been so burdened to help them find someone who can give them excellent care...this all came about without my help...we got the referral in a round about way...just like God to take us out of the picture and work a miracle for us! I had to change my blog to a cheerful orange as that is how my heart feels today...God is GOOD! We are blessed! Thanks for your prayers and love!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Last BACPAC concert
Busy weekend with the gals' dance concert. Mom and Dad came and really enjoyed seeing their gals shine. Mom looked so pretty in one of her new outfits. I am usually picking her clothes out for her now so she's all matched. I picked one of her new skirts and shirts with optional jacket for Sunday. She came in two times Saturday night to ask me if she was to wear that skirt with all the colors for church. After church on Sunday she tried to return the outfit to me..."thanks for loaning this to me!" I reminded her it was some of her new clothes and she could keep them in her closet. We had alot of sitting outside in the shade and visiting time. This morning they got to start back to their senior swim at the college in Texas City. I was not about until they returned at 11. Both were in a happy mood and had enjoyed the class. There is a new lady teacher who they both like and think is very good with the students. After the hard times last week, so far the last few days have been refreshing. Dad ordered a new memory supplement that she is taking...hope it helps. We had an outing today to a good friend's home for swimming and visiting...I really need to do that occasionally to help me keep homelife in perspective. God is good!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Losing My Mind...the book
Finishing some reading...today brought "Losing My Mind" by Thomas deBaggio. He was a writer then owned a plant nursery when it was discovered that he had Alz. He decided to write a book as he went further into the illness. His observations are enlightening and raw...painfully so...reading it makes me hope we are not headed there. I used to always want to know what I was facing..."if I know, I can deal with anything". This new journey makes me want to "hide my head in the sand" sometimes. I've always prided myself in dealing with reality and NOT being in denial...guess it's time to lose more of my pride demon.
We did get appointments with the new Dr. but she can't see Mom until the middle of July. That will be right before Dad leaves for the family reunion. Pray with me that he will feel good about going and letting me care for her. He so enjoys seeing his family and catching up. It would give him time to relax and really rest...they spoil him while he's there! He's still undecided about leaving and we don't talk about it much as it makes Mom anxious. She really depends on him.
Last night I made a chart of the many different psychological problems that can be caused by Mom's different meds...it made me mad that she has been put on so many different things that have awful side effects and in the 18 or so months, the Physician's assistant has not noticed the change. Prayerful that the new Dr. will be able to make adjustments for her benefit.
We did get appointments with the new Dr. but she can't see Mom until the middle of July. That will be right before Dad leaves for the family reunion. Pray with me that he will feel good about going and letting me care for her. He so enjoys seeing his family and catching up. It would give him time to relax and really rest...they spoil him while he's there! He's still undecided about leaving and we don't talk about it much as it makes Mom anxious. She really depends on him.
Last night I made a chart of the many different psychological problems that can be caused by Mom's different meds...it made me mad that she has been put on so many different things that have awful side effects and in the 18 or so months, the Physician's assistant has not noticed the change. Prayerful that the new Dr. will be able to make adjustments for her benefit.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Me Maw Makeover...Look for the positive
I realize that as life gets busy...or I get discouraged, I don't make time to blog. We had a few rough days and then almost a week of DELIGHTFUL days...followed by some days that seemed awful. Now we are on some more good days. My gals are almost finished with their ballet...the concert is this Saturday so after that, life will slow down considerably. Hopeful that I can stop feeling pulled in so many different directions. I did read through 7 books in a bit over a week. I did not see Mom so much in Alz as I did in Depression/anxiety. I did find that several of her medications have the side effect of depression, anxiety and short term memory loss. I was able yesterday to get a new Primary Care Physician on their managed care plan. Pray with me that the new Doctor will be a good match for us and willing to help get Mom off some of these meds.
I'm learning to freeze the great memories of time with Mom and Dad. I did this when my children were young...I have snapshots in my mind of wonderful times we enjoyed. Now I intentionally get my mind camera out and shoot away when we are laughing and joking together. The times Mom can't remember Dad or any of us, I choose to let go and just love her. It was interesting to read that some of the statin drugs cause amnesia...
Yesterday(not planned or in my schedule) we headed off for a "Me Maw Make-over." Daddy is tired of seeing her in baggy clothes and asked if I could take her shopping for some new things. We first stopped for a haircut for Mom with her fav hairdresser Christi...she's a wonderful Christian lady who is a delight to see. She really shaped up Mom's hair...cute! Then on for clothes...She would look at clothes and say "I don't think that will fit me." Then she'd try it on and VOILA! It fit...she has lost 3 dress sizes since last year. Daddy was precious when he saw her... "I'm not letting you out of my sight now!" The saying "There's nothing better than young love but old love!" is so true. One of the sweet things about Momma forgetting Daddy is that they fall in love more each day. She always tells me he is so good to her.
Today's funny...after all the shopping yesterday, Mom arrived to visit in the ONE old workshirt I left in her closet! God bless all of us today!
I'm learning to freeze the great memories of time with Mom and Dad. I did this when my children were young...I have snapshots in my mind of wonderful times we enjoyed. Now I intentionally get my mind camera out and shoot away when we are laughing and joking together. The times Mom can't remember Dad or any of us, I choose to let go and just love her. It was interesting to read that some of the statin drugs cause amnesia...
Yesterday(not planned or in my schedule) we headed off for a "Me Maw Make-over." Daddy is tired of seeing her in baggy clothes and asked if I could take her shopping for some new things. We first stopped for a haircut for Mom with her fav hairdresser Christi...she's a wonderful Christian lady who is a delight to see. She really shaped up Mom's hair...cute! Then on for clothes...She would look at clothes and say "I don't think that will fit me." Then she'd try it on and VOILA! It fit...she has lost 3 dress sizes since last year. Daddy was precious when he saw her... "I'm not letting you out of my sight now!" The saying "There's nothing better than young love but old love!" is so true. One of the sweet things about Momma forgetting Daddy is that they fall in love more each day. She always tells me he is so good to her.
Today's funny...after all the shopping yesterday, Mom arrived to visit in the ONE old workshirt I left in her closet! God bless all of us today!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Learning about Alzheimers
Today started too early as I read until 2 last night finishing "The Myth" book. When I checked on Mom and Dad, it was 11 am and Mom had not eaten breakfast. No telling what all her blood sugar was doing. She was very disoriented and weepy. We did get breakfast down and took off for a walk. She was not sure footed and we walked slowly. At the end of the block she said her knee was hurting so Daddy came back home and got the car...such a difference from our other walks this week. She cried off and on until 2 and then felt better. They worked outside and rested. I came in to watch part of "The Alzheimer's Project"...a HBO series with Maria Shriver. Katy and I watched the first section "The Lost Tapes" and bawled our eyes out...then we decided to watch the next part about helping children deal with AD(thought that part would be easier to watch)...WRONG! I am still processing the information and emotions of seeing the loved ones slip away...sometimes moment by moment. All the reading and watching is helping me to understand what an aging brain acts like. I'm eager to get into the book that has lists of coping ideas for the different issues we may face. I am seeing that my life is going to change quickly. Knowing God is my Strength!
Friday, May 21, 2010
I found a book today titled "The Myth of Alzheimer's"...leave it to me to find a book that comes from a Doctor who no longer trusts what the medical system is doing with diagnosis and treatment of Alzheimer's. It's been a fast read and I have 6 other books to read and a four part DVD. Last night I found a combination remedy by Hyland's that I used years ago called "Nerve Tonic"...I got it and took a tablet myself then gave it to Mom and Dad. They split one tablet last night before bed. They had their best day in a long time. Dad remarked that nothing happened today that frustrated him. I asked if Mom had cried...he thought about it..."no, not once all day!" She even told me about his plans to go to his family reunion later this summer(a topic that typically causes her anxiety and tears)...today NO TEARS just a joke that I may need to make her a place in the house with the rest of us.
They headed off tonight to the High School to see a performance of one of their friend's granddaughters. When they were back home in less than an hour, I thought something had happened with Mom to make them return. Dad said no the show was over...it had lasted a TOTAL of 18 minutes! They had used their handicapped tag and parked nearby so they jumped in the car and missed waiting for the parking lot to empty. TOO FUNNY!
I feel like God is helping me to understand more about how to help them and giving us ideas to support their bodies and minds in healthier ways. Rejoicing in HIS care. My morning Bible reading was from Colossians 1:11 "Strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy!"
They headed off tonight to the High School to see a performance of one of their friend's granddaughters. When they were back home in less than an hour, I thought something had happened with Mom to make them return. Dad said no the show was over...it had lasted a TOTAL of 18 minutes! They had used their handicapped tag and parked nearby so they jumped in the car and missed waiting for the parking lot to empty. TOO FUNNY!
I feel like God is helping me to understand more about how to help them and giving us ideas to support their bodies and minds in healthier ways. Rejoicing in HIS care. My morning Bible reading was from Colossians 1:11 "Strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy!"
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